When “Just One More Thing” Becomes Too Much
She looked at me and said, “Damn it, when is enough enough?”
Tears of anger and sadness slipped down her face.
My good friend had been overextending herself for years, pouring out until she was operating in the negative. We had made a pact — a holy pact — to set boundaries and honor them. And yet, we knew the truth: the moment you start saying no, the pushback comes. Especially from those who have grown used to your constant yes.
And here’s the catch — that pushback rarely comes loud or obvious. It comes cloaked in one little word that looks harmless but is deeply misleading: just.
As Black and Brown women leaders, we navigate a world that often demands more from us than it gives back. In the spirit of community (or sometimes under the pressure of compliance), we often find ourselves prioritizing others' needs over our own. In this week's installment of my "Reclamation Season" series, we're unpacking the subtle deception of the word "just" — a seemingly harmless word that can trick us into overriding our boundaries and undermining our wellbeing.
Have you ever noticed how we use "just" to soften our boundaries or dismiss our needs? It's a word that minimizes how much labor is actually required of us.
We’ll hear it from our friends and family, from our colleagues or boss — maybe even from ourselves.
“Oh, it’s just one more thing,"
"Just another hour," "
“Why can’t you just…"
These phrases can be gaslighters, encouraging us to betray our bodies, emotions, and spirits, leading us to sacrifice our wellness for the sake of others.
By being mindful of our language, we can start to reclaim our boundaries. To thrive, we must be conscious of how we let words like "just" undermine our intentions and self-worth.
Watch the video, and then let me know what you think. Our journey is not solitary: your story could be the inspiration someone else needs. See you in the comments.
